Avoidance is my expertise. When I was a teenager, I would make up excuses to get out of anything I just didn’t feel like doing that day. I would pretend that nothing got to me (and still do, sometimes). Vulnerability is still a weakness of mine because it opens me up to be rejected, scorned, and judged. To this day, I struggle with being open and honest about the things that are hurting me. Instead, I hide away from those that love and care for me.
My family was no exception. I was terrible to them because of how broken I was. When I was younger, we went to church for a while as a family, but the stories I heard there were just that to me: stories. The God that parted the Red Sea and the Christ that died to atone for the sins of those He loves were nice fairy tales, but not something to build a life on. These misconceptions did not, however, last long.
My come-to-Jesus moment was your run-of-the-mill “ah-ha” moment (not that that makes it any less exciting). I was sitting on a carpeted floor, my knee resting on some girl, a guy’s shoulder pressed up against mine, and someone’s knees jammed into my back. This is just how a Young Life summer camp club goes. As uncomfortable as I was in the moment, I still heard what our speaker was telling us and what my own Young Life leader had been showing me for months. There is a God.
What I finally heard in this uncomfortable position, hot and surrounded by hundreds of other high school kids was this: the God I had heard so much about in church and school is real and He made each of us in His image. As this speaker explained who Jesus was and why He mattered, these concepts became more than just stories to me. The God that made everything cared if I knew Him. I was captured.
I spent the next few hours thinking about how to respond to what I had heard because my life had been a wreck and I was feeling hopeless, lost, and unloved. This was my fork-in-the-road moment. The Lord had changed my heart, though. He gave me understanding in this moment and offered a peace so real that saying no was impossible. So I sat with my leader and cried. She listened.
This simple act of a smart and God-fearing woman listening to my (seemingly) small problems was a game-changer for me. She was giving me a gift I thought no one would ever give to me. That act of hearing me out, no matter how seemingly small the issue was, showed me a small part of the character of God. So I prayed in silence and it was done.
Knowing the Lord has challenged my habit of avoiding in a way that I never would have experienced apart from Him. I never would have shared any of this with you before I knew the Lord. Even this level of intimacy would have made me bolt before I knew Christ. It is a small example of the Lord’s power over my life.
It wasn’t a quick-fix, knowing the Lord, and actually, it made my life harder in some ways, but we are never told that it wouldn’t be hard. In fact, we are told just the opposite. John 16:33 says “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus spells it out for us– things will be tough and life will never be pretty and perfect, but we are told to remember what He has done and is doing in the world. The difference is that with Christ we have hope.
We have hope because God sent His Son to die so that in Him we may become new. I had the chance to become a new creation in Christ and His death atoned for my sins. So even though we are promised that there will be trouble and heartbreak, He has made us new. I experience a joy now that I never would have believed possible when I was younger. No one would ever have been able to convince me that I was capable of feeling the joy that comes from the Lord. Through Jesus’ sacrifice, I find a peace that is indescribable. I praise Him for His work in my life. It isn’t about me and it never was, it is all about Him.
Soph
Rooted and Redeemed 