God is My Refuge – Psalm 46:1-3

My pastor’s wife asked how our week was at vacation Bible school. Before I realized that this isn’t what people say to the first lady of the church, truthful and sincere words came out of my mouth:

“It was a good week, but I won’t be volunteering again next year.”

I didn’t get into the details at that moment, but I remember the night of the storm. The night when I couldn’t get through the fast food drive-thru quickly enough. The night that we all had to run from the car into the church building and from behind me I heard the cries of my four year old, “MAMA!!! HELP ME!!!” When I turned around I saw the unexpected, her shoe flowing down a stream toward a gutter drain. She stood, watching it while she cried for her mama. 

I sat down the baby – in her car seat, but still outside – to chase the shoe while water poured down from Heaven on us all and thunder applauded closely in the distance. I handed the girl her shoe, picked up the baby, and we ran into the church building. After counting to ensure that I didn’t miss any of the children, we continued on to VBS like it was a normal day.

I ran in that storm, but I did not control it.

I helped in that storm, but I did not start it. 

I felt the rain and wind. I heard the thunder. I saw the lightning. I did not control it.

But isn’t that true for most of the stories of my life? And yours? We don’t control them. We don’t choose the when and where and how strong of the storms. And if you’re like me, you scream and stand still like my daughter did. I am afraid and helpless while I watch the things I think that I need and love go toward the metaphorical gutter drain. Fear freezes me and I can’t remember how to do anything but cry out for help. 

The good news: God hears the cries of His children and He helps them.

How many of these situations are controlled by humans? We cannot control the mountains being overcome by the seas. We cannot control the roar and foam of the oceans. We cannot control the downpour of rain on our lives. 

That’s okay because these verses do not say that we do not fear because we take control of it. It doesn’t advise learning to swim and pretending that the waters are not overcoming you. If the water has overcome a mountain, it is a fair assessment that you have been drowning with the mountain. Instead, the place of refuge – safety, shelter – for us is in God. He is what grounds us and keeps us safe. We go to Him for all we need when we are overcome with life situations. When my husband loses his job again or when I can’t control my own thoughts. God is my refuge. He is where I go and He is where I stay. 

What else is the Lord for me in times of fear? My strength. Being our own strength and living our own truth (don’t even get me started on that nonsense right now) is what we are constantly told will sustain us. I’ve been told that I am enough by every online influencer (just learned this was a thing recently) and friend who means well. But I don’t need to be reminded of my strength. My strength is questionable at best. Instead, it is the never-ending strength of the Lord that I need. He sustains me. 

When I look to myself the waters rise and I am overcome by anxiety and fear. I can’t see how I will get out and the circumstances cause me to drown in the high waters. But that’s because I can never swim well enough to make myself feel still in the midst of it. But God. God is not surprised  by my storms. It doesn’t shake Him at all that things are not going in ways that make me uncomfortable or uneasy or that cause me to soak my pillow in tears each night. He is my refuge and my strength. 

It’s not only that He is those things, but He is available and present. I tend to swing too far in the direction of God as transcendent and forget that He also is my very present help in times of trouble. What good would it be for Him to be our refuge and strength if He wasn’t also helping and available to us? Thankfully, He is all these things. Run to Him faster and harder than a mom in the rain chasing a flip flop down a stream.